10 Things to Tell Yourself When You Feel Like a Quitter

Fall seven times, but get up eight.

Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

Recently, I made the tough decision to turn down a nice job and it messed with my brain. The offer was for a position in a nice city at a large and well-respected company, but I couldn’t justify the two-hour distance to travel every day and I knew it wouldn’t be beneficial long-term. So in the end, I kindly declined — then I proceeded to have a meltdown for six hours.

If you’ve been in a similar place where you’ve felt like you’ve let yourself down and your brain is shouting at you for being a failure, here are ten things to say to quiet that noise.

1. Shush. Just STOP. Silence the mental attack when it starts. Your natural enemy is yourself and when you screw up, it’s your brain’s instinct to criticize the mistakes. It once served as a survival trait thousands of years ago, but in our rat-race society, those criticisms have turned into self-loathing. When I quit something, my brain spews hurtful commentary for long periods that I know aren’t always true. Shush your brain because it will only harm your rational side and make it harder for you to bounce back.
2. It’s not the end of the world…but it could be. One action isn’t going to unravel your future. You’re not psychic and you will never know where this will lead you. Maybe your quality of work would have suffered or you’d sacrifice your morals or the things that matter most to you. If I had said yes to travelling every day for this job, it could’ve damaged my family car, our only lifeline to the city and income opportunities. Saying “no thanks” might suck, but it may also save you from future headaches.
3. This doesn’t define you. Your reality is constantly changing — you aren’t the same person you were yesterday and you don’t have to be the same person you are tomorrow. Accept that you gave up and the intense emotions that come along with it, but don’t accept that this is going to be you forever. As psychologist and author, Dr. Marsha Linehan, said, “It’s about constantly, moment by moment, letting go of what you want and accepting what is.”
4. Forget about the others. There’s so much shame around the idea of “quitting”. I hate how my brain immediately compares my choices to others, especially when I…