4 Reasons Why Hating Someone Can Be a Blessing

Embracing the darkest of emotions is liberating and here’s why

Abby Cheval

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Photo by Abishek on Unsplash

For the past month, I have been dealing with an emotional rollercoaster of a relationship with one of my relatives. Every day, new emotions swirl within me, challenging my notions of respect and independence. I am never fully rested or at peace, but the one constant that has kept me grounded has been, shockingly, this new feeling of hatred.

Often when I thought of hatred, it meant that someone had tapped into some dark, immeasurable reservoir of bitterness. Something sinister to avoid, that many should not even fathom. Even today, the idea of “hating” someone is still problematic to most people. Yet I am here to say that, contrarily, feeling hatred has actually been very liberating for both me and my relative.

If you’ve been grappling with similar emotions, here are some reasons why I believe the feeling of hate (and expressing it) can actually be good for you.

Keep in mind that the kind of hate I’m talking about is specific to personal relationships. While it can extend to political, religious or socio-economic spheres, I am focused on the hate that is felt towards the actions of others.

The feeling of hate means that you care. You care so much about a given situation or dynamic that when it falls apart, your soul cannot take it. You might have asked or pleaded with them not to mess with it, but when they did (or kept doing it) or opinion of them turned bitter. I think that what most people believe to be hate, is really just strong dislike. But to feel actual hatred, I believe takes a person a lot of suffering over an extended period of time to really understand. Hating reveals that you are capable of cherishing something so much that you would put your heart and dreams into it.

The feeling of hate means that you are accepting of your feelings. It means that you are in touch with your inner self. When you express your hate to someone, you show that you aren’t denying your pain or hiding your anger. It means that you know what you feel and bravely embrace it without fear or shame. I think it is incredibly freeing when a person can finally know where I stand, have drawn the line and how upset it makes me when they…

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Abby Cheval

Millennial, noncommittal romantic, walking the tightrope between hope and depression. Sounds like you too? I’ll write something for both of us.