Who’s Your Greatest Cheerleader?

Would you be able to answer if I asked you?

Abby Cheval

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Two men hugging each other inside a bar.
Photo by Thiago Barletta on Unsplash

Hi friend. Today’s story is a sombre one. While I’m still finishing up the next one with a more lighthearted tone, here is a guessing game that I want you to play if you’ve got the time. It involves my current life and what you think is gonna happen next. Ready? Here it goes:

Yesterday, my friends needed me to answer a question, and I texted the regular group chat back that I wasn’t feeling mentally up to it so I would respond the next day.

Then I spent the entire day:

  • Wrapped in my faux wool blanket
  • Twice napping for over two hours
  • Laying on the floor rug to nap for one of those times
  • And heavily crying for four periods throughout the day

I could barely move, and the thought of deciding what to eat left me paralyzed to the point that I almost went hungry. But a voice in my head kept going, “it’s okay, just something simple. I know it’s bad but you need it, please. C’mon, get up.”

I remember crying while I made a low-budget instant pasta dish. And after eating it, I went to sleep — it was almost 12 a.m.

I proceeded to dream that I was ice skating down a long canal and Jack Frost was with me, along with a huge crowd of people just enjoying the winter’s day.

What do you think happened next?

The next day do you think things got worse? Did I end up repeating the same cycle? Did I reach out for help?

Well, today it feels like yesterday didn’t even exist. I answered my friends back and sent them funny gifs.

Then I spent today:

  • Drinking the best cup of coffee I’d made in a while
  • Finishing my laundry before 9 a.m.
  • Cooking a beautiful pan-fried tilapia for lunch
  • And walking to the dollar store, buying a pack of disposable garbage bags and purging my kitchen cupboards of everything I never used

My legs are a little stiff from all the moving around. But I’m smiling even as I write this because the voice in my head was saying, “it’s

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Abby Cheval

Millennial, noncommittal romantic, walking the tightrope between hope and depression. Sounds like you too? I’ll write something for both of us.